Thursday, February 02, 2012

bang

Lately I just feel really sad without any particular reason at all. When I am alone at the computer, or in a cab, or few minutes before bed, something really hurts inside. I thought it had something to do with hormonal fluctuation. But it did not. My period is over, and I still feel it. It's something inside, maybe it's just a feeling. It is just a feeling that gets  more intense everyday.

It started with a visit from my eldest brother who had not talked to me at least for the last 12 years. Just one fine day, he came to see me. He apologized for the things he had said and done. WOW. I had forgiven him before, but this time seems to be really easy. Too easy to do compared to worst things happened earlier. WOW. Never thought forgiving somebody would be a great tranquilizer. He could be wrong or misunderstood, but he's still my brother.

Then we had a lunch together for the first time. Too many things are hidden under the carpet in too many years. When we opened up some issues, it just exploded. My elder brother could not take the complains. He exploded. All right.

Perhaps God has a tendency to put thing in a chaos and clarify the air. It was worth it.