the art of making mistakes

I used to kick the trash bin in my former office everytime I had to bear the consequences of someone's irresponsible conduct. I used to stare at people who tried to make excuses of their mistakes or negligence. I wore out of patience and gave up on certain people because I failed them.

My life seemed never be complete without any surprises-- I should have reminded myself. One fine day, I contributed a mixture circumstances full of confusion, chaos and anger. Just on one fine day,  I wear all the guilt and accusation.

I made mistakes. I admit it. I said sorry.

What else can I do ?

The fierce look, frown faces, sms with all exclamation remarks do not take my soul. I could bear all the negative remarks. Guess what trembled me most was the look on my friend's face being bombarded with questions and accusation for which I should have been the one taking all the blame. I wish I could say something to lessen the effect.

She should have never been there.
She did not deserve anything of these.

What can I say?

It is easier to give in to anger when somebody else is making mistakes.

It is easier to curse than to forgive.

It is easier to say sorry than try to forgive, maybe.
Still, I still have to say it.

Surat kepada Bu Etty

Suatu hari, sepulang dari kantor, saya menemukan secarik kertas A4 terlipat dua di atas meja komputer. Ada tulisan besar-besar : Kepada Yth Ibu Etty.

Kertas itu ditulisi Wisnu, anak tertua saya yang belum genap 7 tahun itu kepada ibu guru wali kelasnya.

"Wisnu sudah berhenti sekolah di sini karena  tidak ada AC nya kamar mandinya bau dan ada air besarnya jadi tidak nyaman".

Kwak kwaw.
Kalau ada sound effect untuk pengantar cerita ini, begitulah bunyinya.

Nasib anak saya yang bersekolah di sekolah negeri republik tercinta ini. Kepanasan di sekolah karena tak ada AC, mungkin sulit dimengerti oleh orang tua macam saya yang dulunya biasa kemeringet di sekolah INPRES.

Kamar mandi yang bau seringkali dikomentari oleh Wisnu karena menghilangkan seleranya untuk buang air kecil di sana. Komentarnya  sambil mengkerutkan hidungnya, " Ada air besarnya, bu, gak disiram. B-A-U". Yaiks. Saya bahkan tak sanggup membayangkannya.

Tidak nyaman ? Sekolah gratis, gitu loh.

Berhenti sekolah? Teman saya yang di sana pasti sudah gemas dengan sarannya sedari dulu untuk memindahkan Wisnu ke sekolah bernuansa sekolah alam. Halah, anak pegawai negeri kok mau sekolah mewah, bisa-bisa jadi korban prejudice.

WC yang bersih, is that too much to ask?

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