if you dont like me : so what?

I used to wonder what I should do to people who gave me funny faces or strange sentences. I thought I've always had a good chance to make people misunderstand me. Perhaps I was born with it.

My first unpleasant experience was when I was in elementary school. I wrote in my diary that I had a crush on boy, and accidentally my friends found my diary among the books I rent. They laughed at me, and told the whole school. There, I was successful being some kind of a virus that  the particular boy would not hesitate to avoid.

Second time was my classmate in junior high -this time is a girl. I had no idea why she kept on grumbling on my existence. She yelled at me and gave a cold shoulder. I just did not react to any of her funny remarks. on one fine day, she told me stories that she just missed her best friend --who used to sit on my chair and her dad just split with her mom. then I thought : hm, it is really a tough life she is dealing with. I convened and accepted her. We became good friends since then.

I dont remember my third or fourth. But for the past 8 years I have lived under the same roof with a sister of my husband. Rite. Initially she got married earlier, then my husband and I did two years later. I was ready to conceive a baby as soon as i got married. The case was different : she always said that she would have a baby when her husband is ready -- being responsible and mature, but as we were prepared to make a family, she decided to have a baby. though he never was, never had been.

Some people think it is really fun to have a twin sister, well, but as a matter of fact IT IS NOT to have a twin sister in law. She sees me as a permanent competitor, and for the God's sake i dont know WHY. She said weird things since very beginning but I did not bother to respond or reply. Anyway, why would you even care to note what people say about you (especially bad things)like:
- Hey, now that you are converting to Hindu, you can eat pork freely (me: why would I be interested in consuming that short with curly tail animal?)
- (to her mom after the ceremony for my baby) " You should pray for your daughter, too, not only for your daughter in law" (me: you converted by choice, why would you feel that you should do your initial religion ritual).
- It's difficult to have a too pure son. You can't take him anywhere. So troublesome. (my son was restricted to go outside/ in a crowd)

Then things got really worse. Really really worse. I thought I could just forget-- perhaps if I can not forgive her yet. And she is using my mother in law-- which is her own mother to bombardize my husband. I know she cant handle me, so she is using somebody who can try to push me.

then I think hard, real hard, where would this war take me : NOWHERE. She has 1000 good reasons to be not happy seing me happy. She is just in a place where she can't beat me. And without even trying I will always be the one with the victory.

The game "Angry bird" really depicts me. She is just the angry bird who would throw her self to ruin my  retrieve eggs( the love, the affection that she used to get from her parents) that  I (evil green pig) took away. The thing is I am sheltered by structures made of various materials such as wood, ice and stone, so no matter how she launches herself  with the intent of either hitting me directly or damaging the structures,  the fact is that I am hard to reach.

The harder she tries, the more I am convinced that I did not have to do anything. She just lost her confidence , her special place in the family. And what did I do ? Only one thing : marrying my husband and leaving her no room to compete. Should I feel sad about it? Or angry?

There. I guess somebody at my present office also feels the same since the day I stepped in. She used to be the apple of the clients' eyes --she received good remarks from clients. SUDDENLY I came, and make friends with everybody . Without even trying hard, I am unbeatable. I have too perfect profile : a mother with kids, a husband, and parents, and friends and ideas to share. I give her no room to beat me. Should I blame myself for her to hate me?

I do not live for somebody's expectation. And will not suffer for anybody's unability to seek for happiness. If anyone should be unhappy, it is by their own choice. There is nothing I can do about it or change the way I do things.

If they will carry their sack and become miserable, let them find the spot where they can no longer carry it. At least I have to cherish my own life and give respect to my rights to be happy about myself. What I can do to make people happy is more important than what they can do to make me miserable.

I have witnessed God's power in  showing me how some people just do not know they are damaging themselves by spreading their evil seeds. The peace is in you, not in achieving something you want --if only they knew.

Pembantu oh pembantu

Suatu hari, saya menulis status di suatu jaringan sosial media begini "Kalau PRT minta gaji standar UMR, mari saya tatar soft skillsnya dan ukur KPI nya". Dalam hitungan detik, ada jawaban penuh kemarahan dari kawan saya yang mungkin kesambet setan pembela PRT dengan ucapan "gue prihatin kalo lu gak mau dukung PRT dapet UMR. mereka kerja 24 jam tauk". Jiahhhhhh...

Andai saya bisa, sungguh ingin saya keplak kepala teman saya itu. Andai dia tahu, diantara para majikan yang brengsek dan biadab, ada juga 1001 jenis PRT yang cilaka duabelas pernah saya terima.

Jenis pertama, adalah si A yang entah dapat ide darimana, datang untuk kerja di Jakarta pertama kalinya. Kukunya panjang dan berkuteks (okelah untuk unsur estetika) tapi dodolnya kuku itu menancap dengan suksesnya dibagian belakang anak saya setiap saat membersihkan pasca BAB. Dan pagi-pagi saat saya ada dititik hectic luar binasa dan membutuhkan peran ke-PRT-annya, yang ada semua panci di dapur saya hampir beterbangan lantaran panggilan saya yang kesekian belas kali tak juga direspon dengan kemunculannya lantaran beliau sedang bermake up lengkap. HAH? Mau ngapain coba pake bedak,lipstick, eyeliner dan astagaaa maskara dan pensil halis untuk ketemu sama panci dan penggorengan!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh

Jenis kedua, adalah si B yang berasal dari daerah tertentu yang dengan mudahnya anda akan menandai bahwa PRT ini tutur katanya seolah-olah lemah lembut, dan kita cenderung menilai orang model begini bakal sabar dan pasrah luar binasa. Ternyata dugaan saya S-A-L-A-H. Kalau dipanggil, mesti anda akan mendapat jeda seolah-olah panggilan anda adalah panggilan dari lain operator dan melewati BTS lain diseberang pulau. Jadi, contohnya begini ; "mbooooooook". Lalu hening, tak ada suara. 1,2,3,4,5 menit. Terus dengan datanglah si PRT dengan langkah yang lambatttt bikin anda semaput, tanpa rasa berdosa menyahut "iya" dalam tempo ketukan 1/64.

Baiklah, kalau ibaratnya mesin bubut, katakan ini mesin sudah di overhaul berkali-kali sehingga macet. Tapi kemudian ada kedodolan lain yang harus diterima bahwa orang yang minta gaji sekian ini, belum pernah menyeterika dengan seterikaan listrik; pun diajari, ternyata menyeterika pun tidak bisa licin dan malahan kusut terlipat-lipat. Let alone menyalakan kompor gas, untuk mengambil makanan yang sudah matang dari dalam oven saja dia ngibrit mencari bantuan karena tak tahu bagaimana menarik handle pintu. waktu diminta mengesum celana panjang yang jahitannya terlepas, dengan tanpa rasa berdosa berkata "saya tidak bisa,bu. dibawa ke tukang jahit saja". Jueger.

Belum sampai masa gajiannya, dia sudah minta gajinya. Lalu entah polos entah memang dodol, sedikit-sedikit mengeluh tentang uang
"Saya kok beli pulsa cepet habis ya bu. Padahal baru kemarin saya beli, sekarang sudah habis".
"emang nelepon kemana? brapa lama?"
"cuma ke anak saya, yang di bandung, barusan ini, tadi sih saya telpon pas abis azan zuhur"
" azan zuhur? sekarang sudah jam 3! 3 jam ya lama itu, pasti habis pulsanyaaaaa! @#!@#*"

Setelah terima gaji, senyam senyum aneh ia berkata, "maaf bu, saya mau minta pulang". Dia pikir dia bisa pulang seenak perutnya. Saya bilang, "boleh, tapi saya harus dapat gantinya dulu". Dan ternyata si yayasan tak kunjung memberikan gantinya, sampai dua hari berselang dia sudah tidak mau lagi mengerjakan apa-apa lagi dan , si PRT ini meraung-raung didepan rumah membawa gembolannya ngotot minta pulang. Grhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Jenis lain lagi, suaranya keras dan sok akrab. Lebih parah lagi, bukan hanya tidak tahu mengoperasikan alat-alat rumah tangga, yang ini buta huruf. Lengkaplah penderitaaan saya sebagai majikan, secara dia tidak bisa membedakan antara cairan pencuci piring dan cairan pel. Nah, mana tuh teman saya yang mau memperjuangkan UMR?
Setelah 2 minggu bekerja, dia bercerita tentang ladangnya yang ditumbuhi petai dan jengkol dan ujung-ujungnya dia pamit minta pulang kampung karena akan panen. LU PIKIR LU SAPA BISA PULANG KAPAN SAJA? Dengan wajah tak berdosa saya bilang, tidak bisa pulang kalau tak ada pengganti dari yayasan. Nah, sesudah itu dia bersandiwaralah. Sepulang saya kantor, dia berjalan seola-olah pincang dan meringis-ringis. Saya tak pedulikan, karena kakinya kelihatan biasa-biasa saja. Besoknya dia belagak tambah pincang, dan katanya terpeleset sewaktu mencuci. Okelah, saya belikan parem, tapi ternyata tidak dipakainya, malah menangis meraung-raung minta pulang. eee capeee deee. Dia sudah tidak mau makan, tidak mau melakukan apa-apa kecuali duduk di kamarnya dan menonton TV. Dua hari saya tak acuhkan, akhirnya dia pegel sendiri, dan mulai bekerja lagi. Daripada capek hati, saya minta gantinya saja dari yayasan. Coret, boro-boro UMR. She does not even deserve her salary.

Boleh-boleh aja empati sama penderitaan PRT. Tidak ada yang melarang. Tapi saya rasa motivasi orang bekerja di Jakarta sebagai PRT benar-benar bervariasi. Kebanyakan menganggap kerjaan PRT itu ya cuma cuci-cuci, bersih-bersih, ngepel. Mau kerja ke Jakarta hanya untuk 1 bulan, tokh lumayan dapat uang sekian ratus ribu, setelah itu pulang kampung, tokh yayasan bisa menerima alasan "saya tidak betah" atau "tidak cocok dengan majikan" atau malah ngibul dikit "saya tidak dikasih makan sama majikan" dan mengirimnya kembali pulang ke sponsor.

Cilaka dua belasnya tidak ada perlindungan konsumen dari YLK untuk majikan yang sudah membayar sekian untuk suatu kesepakatan mendapatkan PRT dan berhak mendapat penggantian 3 kali. Pun kalau cukup beruntung dapat ganti 3 kali, tingkat kewarasan majikan hampir bergeser. Seharusnya kalau sudah berani menetapkan tingkat standar gaji PRT, sudah selayaknya ada standar minimum kompetensi yang diprasyaratkan dan garansi durasi kontrak kerja. Otherwise, ini cuma jadi bentuk eksploitasi dan kesemena-menaan. Jadi, jangan cuma berani teriak minta hak, coba persiapkan dengan baik kemampuan dan prilaku calon PRT. Sederhana saja : ada harga ada rupa.