I was beginning to feel a bit lonely, terribly bored, desperately burnt out... perhaps it's because the hormone thing --if I have to blame on--.
I decided to stay home, finding something to do around the house --cyber surfing, cleaning the rooms, watering the plants, meditating in the kitchen. Still, something is burning inside. Don't have the name for it , not even a definition.
Suddenly, Akira called out
"Ibu, bli ana? " (ibu, where is big brother)
Then I said to him that his big brother went to the music class. He was grinning at me. Holding a pair of pants and shirt , he tried his best shot to say " mo egi" (I wanna go) so convincingly that I could not turn down his wish.
I bent down and asked him where he wanted to go. Without a word, he changed his shirt and looked for his shoes. It occured to me that a child like him would always believe that any other adult around him would accomodate his needs.
He asked my hand before we closed the gate. The smile he wore on his face, and his eyes gazed at me with admiration. I completely forgot such look a person used to have. Those sparkling brown eyes really ensambled the one whose attention and sincerety is in question. We walked down the street holding hands and gazing at each other. Like two people just met but have grown to trust each other.
We went back home in less than an hour, but we had a good time going by public transportation and managed to buy what we really want: a dozen of plastic balls for Akira and two jars for me.
It was like finding the feeling I have lost hundred years ago. It was really not about the words we said, nor the promises we made. It was only an impromptu date. No hassle. No rush. No expectation. No complain. No criticism. No "should have been"s or "could have".
It was really one fine sunday afternoon. Somehow, that was all we need.
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